Update 18/08/2006: The Big One

Everyone make this last you for a week or so because we are not sure when we will be back to post some more! Hope you enjoy, I know it is crazy long so take it a day at a time. Love you all!

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Michael's Journal Entries:

14/08/2006: Nurturing the Spirit...whatever.

I’m tired. We both are, I am sure of it. Each day we are met with new obstacles: new faces we haven’t saw yet despite living with them for a week now, a new language that seems to shift in our minds on a daily basis (there is a world of difference “chamba” and “shamba”, well, you use one to fertilize the other, so they are similar), and a job that, despite our shortcomings, God has felt the need to assign to us.
We are tired.
But there is something about these children. They come from practically nothing, but they are blessed, and they bless us, continually, everyday that we are here. They are precious, but definitely not little angels. They can be a handful. They scream and fight and make each other cry, but they also lift each other up and hold each other accountable. It’s amazing. Normally when children this age openly worship Christ, I tend to question if they fully understand what they are doing, but not these children. They have a faith that kings would trade their riches for.
It’s inspiring. It makes the late nights, early mornings, and long afternoons completely worth it. I cringe when I am labeled a “missionary”, because these children are the ones spreading the word of the Lord in everything that they do.

15/08/2006: The Night Time:

It gets hardest at night when the children have gone to bed and Tammi and I have retired to our room. There, my most vivid memories of home rush back to me. Some of Tammi and I’s happiest times were just laying in bed doing nothing or preparing t sleep.
These times are still nice and looked forward to, but they are different. There is no Fletch annoying us (how I miss those annoyances), no Doctor 90210 (despite my utter hatred for the show) instead of the Colbert Report, and no leisurely strolls to the kitchen for a late night snack (we do, however, have a cache of Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups, Rolos, and Jolly Ranchers left over from Chicago O’Hare).
These are the times when the weight of what God has called us to do sets in and we feel our most discouraged. We must go day by day and realize that somedays will be harder than others and that the harder days may out number the easy days.
We must be okay with that and welcome it. We must. It’s a necessity.


Tammi's Daily Journal, or, The Big One:

Thursday 8/10/06

Today was hard but good! After we got gas for the van and made our way down the bumpiest road in Nairobi we got to the city. We were in traffic all the way there, and not like Houston traffic more like Mexico traffic. We went past the slums. It was weird and a little anti-climatic. I am not sure what I was expecting but it was not quite what I saw. It was off in the distance we were on a hill or something and it was in the valley. We got taken to a clinic to get medicine for malaria, however all we got was a mosquito net and some cream to rub on our bodies. We were not that concerned about malaria until we met a woman on the airplane that is from Nairobi that got malaria once, so she was sure to freak us out. However we feel fine and safe, so we may or may not use the net and the rub. Then we went to get our currency exchanged we went with $500 and walked away with 36,000 Kenyan Shillings (ksh) which sounds like a lot however gas today for the van was 1,500 ksh and it did not fill it up. The doctor was 3,500 ksh and our phone was 8,600 ksh so needless to say you can do the math and see that things still cost kind of a lot. It is weird to see traditional Africans talking on a cell phone, so everyone has one however at the cell phone counter we looked and acted like we had no idea what a cell phone was. Then we went to the Internet café, for the first time we felt at home.
So we came home to see all the girls washing cloths so I joined them, they had a good laugh and watched as I picked up the wet clothes and began to scrub them with my hands, then all was well and they knew I was ok. So we washed until it was all done, some other girls washed shoes and some boys polished the shoes. It was practical life for real not just models of it. The kids take baths in groups outside, I am not sure how all that works yet. I know that the older children play a large part in that. The boys and girls are really starting to like us. I have had a chance to put two babies to sleep in my lap, Heather you would be so proud. They crawl up in my lap and fell asleep. I LOVE IT! Michael has been singing and dancing with all they children, they love to teach us new stuff. Oh! the books that we brought are a huge hit!!! They love them. I have brought out all of the Dr. Seuss books and there is nothing more beautiful then to see small kids reading to each other. They treat the books with such care, you just look up and see groups of kids around a book all taking turns, how freakin' cool is that! I also showed the kids how to play “go fish” with the deck of cards (grand canyon cards) they can play cards all night long. We sit at night and talk with Margaret. She is so amazing, she always give us time with her. She seems to like us and we really like her. So it is feeling more and more like home every day. We know it will get hard when the newness wears off but for now it is really exciting. The kids are on holiday now, however they still go to school for half a day then play sports the next half of the day. So tomorrow we hope to take the parachute down to the school. We do not know all the children’s names yet, but we are getting it. Michael and I both said that every day we see another kid and swear that we did not see them the day before. We both look at each other and say, who is that and we both don’t know. We also were wondering how do they keep up with all the children and then we realized that they lock up the compound at a certain time and everyone is locked inside, so I guess that is how they keep up with all of them. Also we forgot to tell you that Moses is home, I think he is home for Margaret’s birthday either way he seems very nice. I am sure we will see and talk more to him. We found out that on Friday it is fellowship night here at House of Hope. All the workers and us all sit around and praise the Lord and talk and get a sermon. How cool is that, we have a small group!

Friday 8/11/06

Our first Friday at House of Hope and it was something. The kids are off all of August but God knows that they cannot run free all day long so they go to school ½ days all month long. It was different to say the least the teacher that will be the head of my class is on holiday so her assistant is named Faith and I assisted her in the classroom. She was very excited that I might be able to help her. She was very open to me working with the children. They seemed to be quite a hand full. There were 19 all together and half would work on writing and the other half would work with Montessori material. The class was not set up quite the right way but they make due. The kids are very bright but some material is not all there and you can tell the kids sense of order is all thrown off. I did well with the non-verbal communication, they seemed to understand well when I would just make hand signs and do the action I wanted them to use. We had teatime and then played outside, then back to work until lunchtime. Then we went home for lunch and played for a few minutes then back to school. Friday is board games for the old children and the younger ones play outside again. So that is where I was, Michael got to play board games all afternoon. The sun in Africa is hot but the air is nice. We played until most of the kids were tired and crying. Then home we went. Michael and I had tea (we have tea 3 times a day) and we made all kinds of jewelry out of yarn. The whole process is very overwhelming for Michael and I; it was funny and scary to hear 10 plus kids all saying “Tammi” all at the same time. I keep saying “one at a time”, but you know how that goes. So at the end of that whirlwind Michael and I went for a walk alone to regroup. It was nice to see the sun go down and just walk together. The kids were in the main playroom all playing well so we joined them. A boy (I don’t know his name yet) always wants me to read to him so as I was reading to him he put his face on my chest and begin to fall asleep, I could feel him breathing and my hear melted. He woke and quickly turned his body back around. Ken, (who looks two but is really seven) is very quiet most days and does not speak all that often, worked really close to me today. Later that night he was playing with another boy and they were chasing each other Ken would come and hide behind me, I guess I was a safe place. Michael and I just smiled because it meant Ken was not so shy any more.
Fellowship was something, it is from 9-10 and everyone seemed pretty tired but they are ready to worship the lord. We sing songs (mostly in Swahili) and then someone will preach. The only hard part was when everyone started to pray at once in Swahili, that was really something. I keep asking God to give me the gift of tongues but that was a no go. One day I will understand them. All in all it was nice and everyone was very warm to us.



Saturday 8/12/06

The kids did not have school today and we had not gotten a chance to show them the parachute so, you guessed it, we went to the playground and played with it. We quickly felt overtaken. They all wanted to rip it apart, to say the least. I think they were excited but still very anxious. I think they think everything and I mean everything is limited, we noticed this again when we were handing out paper and pencils to all of them. They want whatever they don’t have. I think I understand and it makes sense, you spend your whole life wanting something, i.e. food and clothes, so that when you get a chance to have something you want a ton of it because you think it will never be their again. So yeah, we did not play with the parachute to long because the young ones were getting hurt. So we went for a walk all along the property and that was nice. Near the end we played follow the leader and Michael was the leader. I have never seen Michael stretch himself so far, it is amazing. Anyways, he was the leader and all the kids were doing just like him, it was so freakin' cute. Even the ladies that were with us to keep up with the kids were laughing and doing what Michael was doing. So we came home and we played for a while until Margaret came home with 3 more kids. They were a brother and sisters to George, a boy that was already here. There mother was the woman who took poison to die but it did not work so she is slowly dying of AIDS. Margaret later told us that the mom tried to give the 3 kids the poison also but the oldest daughter named Leah was strong and told her other sister Beth and her brother James not to take it. So they are here and they seemed to be doing well. I think it helped that George was already here. I am pretty sure they are going to stay. Margaret said they are just here for the holiday and she will talk with the girls and the mom to see if they can stay. So after all that we went for our evening walk and we saw Margaret and her brother, Silas, out in the field near the school so we went and talked with them a bit. They are planning on putting up a soccer field with a track around it, so we are really excited about that. Olivia is from the tribe that wins all of the marathons and she wants to be a runner so she will use the track to train. I am excited about that; maybe I can train with her.

Sunday 8/13/06

Our first Church service at House of Hope! It was amazing, a few people from the community came and that is pretty special to all of us. They have a big vision for the Church at House of Hope. The people were all very excited and the singing was so amazing. I thought of Maegan at Basilica, because the man that did the drum was amazing. It was a circle drum that you wear around your neck and you play dancing around. So we sang the best we could and then at the end Margaret wanted us to speak. I did not say anything but Michael spoke and read from 1 Corinthians 2:1-5 and I think the group really respected him more because of it. I was very proud of him!
So after church we went into town. We went to a place that had American food and I got pizza and Michael got a hamburger. It was weird but good. We also got COKE, made with real sugar! The place we ate at had Internet access, so that is when we uploaded everything. Anyhow we looked around this huge store that was kind of like a Super Wal-Mart. It had tools and food and well everything you could need. So that was kind of weird. We also found out that our cell phone for some reason cannot text internationally (it now looks like we can’t text any T Mobile customers). We have not been able to fix it and it drove us crazy. We have also concluded that we can understand what everyone else is saying in English but for some reason that can not understand what we are saying (or they don’t want to) because when we went to the cell phone store they only wanted to talk to Margaret despite us saying “hey the phone is our not hers”, and then when we went back to the store without her they told us to call the help line or go to a service center. So needless to say we have no way to text. We can get it but not sent it.

Monday 8/14/06

Hmmm…. I think that today could have been better but for what is was it was good. My teacher came back from holiday and was not that warm to me. I am not sure what she thinks of me, but we will work on things. I wish the classroom were different, more prepared and less crazy. The kids have no sense of order and that is causing many problems. I am hopeful that it is because the kids should really be on holiday. I am thinking things may be different once September comes. So I will hold onto that. After school the kids were going to split up into groups and we decided to just take a nap, yes you heard me right, a nap. So we slept until 4 and woke up for tea and to play. We played and went for our walk and I talked to Heather on the phone, it was so nice to hear her voice, it doesn’t feel like I miss everyone until I talk with someone and it all floods back. I told Michael as I was crying that it feels like we are trapped between two worlds. However I felt better after we went for a walk after my talk with Heather. Then we went back to help with dinner, I peeled some eggs and swept up the floor and laughed with all the girls. We had a great dinner with rice, greens, beef, and eggs and bananas and avocado (they are huge and good!), so then it was time to play and say our prayers and go to bed. Michael and I, once alone, watched for the first time a show (the office to be exact) and it was really nice to lie in a hard bed that is a twin size bed and watch a good TV show!

Tuesday 8/15/06

We have been here a full week. Life is falling into place! We woke and went to school today with the children. Today Margaret’s brother introduced us to all the teachers and that helped with my classroom situation. So my teacher was much warmer to me today. I still do not care for the classroom dynamics but what can you do. You roll with it. So I worked with the Montessori material in the early morning and mid morning I helped some boys in reading. They were using workbooks, which I did not think were that great at teaching reading, but what can you do. When the teacher asked me to work with them, I just said, “well I have never had training with workbooks but I will see what I can do”. So I went and saw that I could use the movable alphabet and it was a huge success! The boys were all spelling words by the end. So when the teacher would look I would be using the books to then have the boys spell things out without looking at the books but rather sounding the words out. So I think tomorrow we will take a few new things down to the classrooms. Michael is teaching mathematics to his class (how weird does that sound) and he is very good. The kids at the end of the day are very excited about what he will be teaching the next day! His teacher seems to really like him and is working very closely with him. She gives them the lessons and then he uses the materials. We are noticing that the standards are not as high as the USA. I keep thinking that my class is suppose to be doing a lot more then it is and some of the kids I feel have the potential to do really amazing things but the material that is in the classroom is not allowing for that. So I will keep trying and maybe in like 5 years the classroom will be well. Sometimes I wish that Michael and I could have our own classroom but then we would not understand the students. So maybe when we can speak Swahili we will be better. However we are doing a lot of things at home. Michael was going over mathematics to some of his students at home and we were asking them questions and the older ones would answer but the younger ones were learning. This peer learning is amazing!!
We got to have dinner with the kids tonight. Most nights we eat really late with Margaret and we just go for our walk when the kids are eating and bathing. So we ate at dinner, it was good but weird. They all eat very quickly and they do not really speak so it is quite and cramped. They have 44 kids plus us so 46 people all in a 14 X 16 room (at most) and well you can imagine how full the space is. But either way it was nice to join them and eat at the same table. They say this blessing before every meal that we have only been able to get the first part until tonight we were able to get a little bit more. Once we understand it all I will pass it on to you. So Michael and I had to wait until almost dark to go for our walk but we did it and tonight we took the baseball and gloves with us. So just the two of us played a little catch out in the field it was very nice.
We took photos of all the kids today. We told Margaret that we would get a photo of all the kids and write down what size they are and if they were a boy or a girl. So we have 28 boys and 16 girls. She wanted to pass all the information on to Pam so they could get the kids more pants. So we took all the photos and we almost know all the names. Michael is better at it then me, but he is better at a lot of thing, I am the worst at names and I had a feeling that I would be no better here.

Random things I have wanted to write about:

1) They have a large staff of workers; with us included it is about a 2:1 ratio 2 kids forever 1 adult. However many workers work in the field and with the livestock and with the house or with the construction so it is not workers for the children. However needless to say they have a really nice size community here.

2) With 44 kids and 28 of them being boys it is hard to go a day without a laugh or two about some bodily function.

3) They have a washer (it is not hooked up yet but will be when the guest house is done) so here is hoping that we will not need to wash until then and if we do things like we did back home it is fully possible.

4) We have not gotten sick at all (keep praying) but no problems with jet lag or with diarrhea. God is keeping us well and strong (maybe a little tired, but our naps from 2- 4 are helping)

5) We don’t really care for boiled milk and water but that is what we get with a tea bag 3 times a day.

6) One of the boys named Ken is really cute and I said before looks 2 in his body but in his eyes and face really looks like he is 67 so we tease him a lot, don’t worry he does not understand us. Michael will ask him how retired life is like, and when Ken leaves the room Michael says, tell your wife we said “hi”. Michael looked at me today and said “ little known fact, Sarah (one of the older girls) is his forth daughter” I laughed so hard.

7) When we went to explore our future home that is still being build we saw a pile of poo and I don’t think a cow could climb back down stairs, so you can figure that one out.

8) We have to rebuild some bridges with the staff. We have some preconceived notions to combat with all the other teachers.

9) They drive on the other side of the road and the steering wheel is on the other side of the car.

10) We use to drink 64+ oz of water a day and really just sat on our butts, but here we drink about 16 oz and that includes our 3 cups of tea and we are much more active. How can they do it?

11) We are realizing that if you do something for one child you have to do it for them all. You can’t just buy one a gift, and you can’t just let one person have a piece of candy and so forth. We had a dream of one day taking a child or two back to the US with us but now, after we have fallen in love we can not imagine not being able to take them all. I was outside with the older girls and they were asking about going to America one day and how they would go to Pam’s house and how they would go to Linda’s house and so forth. I realized at that moment that it would be impossible to choose one of them to go with us. Being equal sucks some times.

12) I realize that when the newness of this whole journey wears out, that my journal entries will lessen.

13) We have continually said that this whole experience is like being in a movie. Well, we pinpointed which movie: Nacho Libre. Michael is brushing up on his wrestling moves to when the children a bus.

Wednesday 8/16/06
Highlight of the day: All the girls painting their nails and having most of the boys join in. When I think of the epitome of masculinity I think of a strong African man and tonight I saw the future strong African men putting on girls fingernail polish. I know one day they are going to think back and remember a white missionary woman who came and painted all their nails. When Margaret found out I thought she would be upset but she just laughed and laughed, so she was a good sport. Benjamin came to me and wanted his thumb pink and wanted polka-dots on his pinkie so I did that and then he came back to me and wanted me to put a letter “J” on his thumb and when I asked what for, why the letter “J” he said it was for Jesus! Gotta love Ben!
Also today at school we saw a Camel farm off in the distance, we asked Olivia if that was in fact Camel farm and she said “yes” and you can sometimes see antelope, Michael said “oh you mean African deer, no thanks”.
School was great, Michael played with the girls at break and they teased him a lot. I had a great meeting with my teacher and we added a few things to the classroom, it is not in the right spot but one thing at a time I suppose.
Carol: you may want to get some knitting recruiters to help, because Margaret loved your sweaters, we showed her the different sizes and she put in her order for 50 of them. 10 @ size 2 and 10 @ size 4 and 20 @ size 6 and 10 @ size 8. So anyone who likes to knit get with Carol and she will give you a pattern that she uses! The kids walked by and saw the sweaters and all wanted one also. So I know that sounds like a lot so get you tons of helpers!
I keep thinking that I am just giving you a run down of our days, and while I think you may enjoy it (oh I hope that you do) I also should talk about where we are spiritually.
Hmmm...this is where it gets hard. We are at a weird place. I think it is because we never have alone time (I hope to work on that soon). But we can see God moving, but it is hard to feel him sometimes, if that makes sense. We want to but yea it is a weird place. We know that we are here because of His well. We know that He is here working in a mighty way, but we are still getting to know Him in a new light. I also think some days are much harder then others, we are starting to get a little home sick every now and then. It comes in waves. One of us will be fine while the other is having a hard time. It is good that it is working that way; I think it is God’s way of letting us work things out with each other.

Thursday 8/17/06
We were humbled today. We worked in the garden with the kids, digging holes and filling up buckets with manure. It was hard stuff and the worse part was not the shoveling manure and having it get on our shoes but we were planting greens and we do not care that much for greens. So yeah the kids were quick to show us up. They are some super humans. They can dig and work for hours and play and stay up all night and still they get up much earlier then us. The best part of working in the hot Africa sun with the kids is that Ben pushed Lukas into a large pile of cow, there really is no other word for it, shit! No joke, everyone started to laugh and Lukas started to cry. Funny thing was Lukas was acting like a show off the whole time before the fall (he got schooled). Also, work in the “SHAMBA” is primarily work for the men, so when the older girls started trying to help the boys started screaming “No girls allowed”, but Michael quickly reminded them about most of them painting their nails the night before (most still had it on), and they begrudgingly allowed the girls to help. So the rest of the day was nice and we just sat around and enjoyed each other.
One of the most amazing things happened tonight, Leah one of the new girls that I am sure you have already read about, was off alone in a corner of the room and I could hear her out of the distance singing “Jesus loves me” and another praise songs that says “Jesus you are a winner”, and my heart melted. Here is this girl whose mother is dying at this very moment and tried to kill her whole family, and she is praising God not because she has to but because she believes it with her whole heart. I felt God tonight I just had to listen.

Another request: Margaret wants a church; we currently have church on Sunday in the preschool class. That is not the best place for many reasons, one is because it is a classroom so everything needs to be moved about and changed and on Monday morning everything needs to be back in place. It is also not enough space for everyone and Margaret also wants a place that can be treated like a hall. So the kids can have teatime in the hall and not in the preschool classroom (which stresses the crap out of me and the kids because the older kids all run into the classroom).